Guiding Sara Through Her Grief

Upon meeting her young male therapist at JFS, “Sara,” asked him, “How can a young gentile man understand the complexities of the grief and depression of an older Jewish woman who has lost her husband after more than 55 years of marriage?” And with that, their therapeutic relationship began!

Sara contacted JFS Mental Health Specialists because she was experiencing major depression, grief, and anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure). She reported that everything looked grey and without texture. She was most concerned about her inability to concentrate as she had been an avid reader all her life. Sara had been her husband’s caregiver and felt lost without him.

Sara’s retirement community went into complete lockdown when the pandemic hit. She felt completely alone and isolated. She was most upset that she was unable to participate in her husband’s unveiling in New York (where he was buried last year). Sara and her husband were observant Jews. The unveiling was very important as it was the ritual that helps the family obtain a sense of closure. 

The therapist began helping Sara with adjusting to her new normal and working through the grief process. The therapy focused on identifying Sara’s values and then letting these values guide them. Sara identified her primary values as “being of service” and “intellectual pursuits.” The therapist and Sara worked on connecting her to family and friends virtually. 

Sara began to be of service within her retirement community by starting a socially distanced support group. The therapist knew Sara was on more stable ground and making significant progress when she told him she read a book. She was now able to concentrate again! Sara continued to progress by reengaging with her extended family. She got involved with her temple and is making plans to volunteer at the library, which is one of her favorite places. Sara’s grief symptoms have subsided, and her depression is in remission.