Social Isolation or Contentment?
Social isolation has become a hot topic of conversation among families of the elderly, care providers, professionals, and social service agencies who work with the aging population. Dickens, Richards, Greaves, and Campbell (2011) state that “social isolation is a subjective judgement and personal perception in the quality of social interactions and support.”
Given that social isolation is subjective, it is possible that many aging individuals choose to be less active and prefer solitude, quiet, and peace after a lifetime of commitments.
The mom who attended every PTA meeting may now be gratified not to be compelled to plan the bake sale, sew the uniforms, or make obligated chit chat with the other parents. Even though you knew Mom to be happiest when engaged in these activities, it wasn’t necessarily for her own enjoyment, but rather the smile and joy that came from her kids’ needs being met. There was a sense of pride in maintaining an image that Mom may no longer feel obligated to endorse.
Dad spent his lifetime providing for his family’s needs and he may have sought out the diversion of his workshop to either fulfill another obligation of repairing objects, or just a shift from his professional self. Now he can sit and watch TV as a luxury that was not previously afforded him.
Even if the aging person enjoyed dancing, socializing, or attending craft shows with a partner and they no longer do that, it may not be a result of having lost their spouse, but rather a simple change in what they find enjoyable.
When we were 10 years old, our greatest joy was riding our bike in the rain, but by adulthood that was not as appealing. In our 20s, going to clubs and “partying” seemed the highlight of our week, but in time that lost the allure. We continue to change and grow in our own ways throughout our lifespan.
Aging into the 70s and beyond has the same psychological shifts as any other time in life. People grow and develop in different ways just as they did in their youth. A shy individual is still a shy senior who may find socializing stressful. Even though one person may find social commitments stimulating and want to fill their lives with activity, another individual may very well be content to sip a cup of tea and read a good book. Just as society allows individuals to choose their level of engagement and activity, the aging population has the same need for self-determination, even if it looks different than it has in the past. Contentment in peace and solitude may be a viable choice.
If you are concerned about a loved one being content or experiencing social isolation, feel free to call Jewish Family Service’s Senior Solutions department at 303.597.5000 for guidance.
-Ann Slavkin, Jay and Rose Phillips Senior Solutions Center intern
Ann is a social work student at Metropolitan State University of Denver and is set to graduate in May. She returned to school to make a midlife career change after caring for aging family members and realizing there is a need for support and services for both caregivers and the aging population. She has volunteered with JFS since 2011, working with seniors, and is currently an intern with the JFS Colorado Senior Connections program in Edgewater.
