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Volunteer

Bikur Cholim Para-chaplain Hollace Westfeldt
Prior to meeting “Phyllis,” I learned a few things about her: she was in her early 80’s, had a difficult time with speech due to her Alzheimer’s, had low vision due to macular degeneration, and she wanted to go to Shabbat services at her nursing home.

I met Phyllis twice before the High Holidays. The first time, I was introduced to her by the activities director of her unit and found that speech was, in fact, very difficult for Phyllis. The visit was short – only about 15 minutes. During the second visit, I introduced myself and reminded her who I was. She responded, but with difficulty. Then I said that Shabbat services were held twice a month at her nursing home facility and if she would like to go, I would like to take her. Phyllis responded – clear as a bell – with “I would like that very much. I want to go to services regularly.”

The next time I saw Phyllis was to take her to the High Holiday service that JFS organized. Always the perfect lady, Phyllis tried to respond when people greeted her. At the service she was a silent observer at first, probably because she had significant difficulty with speech. Gradually she started singing along – with perfect clarity – to the prayers and chants.

I took Phyllis to Shabbat services for two months. She was always well-dressed in clean, coordinated outfits. One time her shirt was untucked and she complained to me that she looked “messy.” I could tell that Phyllis valued and appreciated being well-dressed, so I followed her lead and always put a little extra effort into what I wore. She always commented on what I was wearing. Once I had a necklace on and she clearly said, “You don’t usually wear necklaces,” then she touched mine and said, “It is lovely.”

Phyllis was an artist when she was fully sighted. Many of her paintings were hanging in her room. The activities director told me that Phyllis still painted, but needed help figuring out which colors were which. A few months before she died, the facility had an art show of Phyllis’s works, some from when she was sighted, and many from recent days. I left work early that day, and went to the show. People came from the various sections of the retirement facility and it was a very special day for Phyllis. The timing of the show was perfect, as Phyllis died a few weeks later.

While I only knew Phyllis a short time, our goodbye conversations were always the same:
Hollace: I’ll see you (and I would give her the date).
Phyllis: I may not be here.
Hollace: Where will be you?
Phyllis: I am getting ready to go home.

So, I knew, almost from the beginning, that Phyllis was getting ready to transition. I feel truly blessed to have been given the opportunity to spend time her and to have been able to bring her a little of what she wanted – a connection with Hashem (G-d) before she died.

After she passed away, I went to the next Shabbat service and said the Mourner’s Kaddish (the prayer for someone who dies) for Phyllis with the residents. Thank you, Phyllis and JFS for this experience.

I believe that I have been called to bikur cholim and para-chaplaincy work.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was 12 and given six months to live. He lived for six years. I am an only child and although my mother tried her best, it is easy to understand how overwhelmed she became as the years went by. My dad lost one of his eyes, and then, as he lost other organs and I got increasingly older, my care taking responsibilities grew. I started doing bikur cholim volunteer work as an adult because I wanted to make life a little easier for the families of people with a terminal, or even a time- limited, illness or disability.

About Hollace Westfeldt

While Hollace went through the JFS Para-chaplaincy training in 2008, she has done similar volunteer work for years. In addition to her full time job as a librarian for Boulder Public Library, she has four volunteer jobs. Besides being a friendly visitor for Boulder JFS, she is the point person at Nevei Kodesh, a Jewish renewal community of Boulder, for Bikur Cholim. Hollace is on the coordinating council for the Boulder Chevra Kaddisha as well as performing taharas (ritual to prepare a body for burial) and sitting shmira (sitting with the body of someone who has died). She is also a victim advocate for the City of Boulder Police Department and has trained as an end-of-life doula with Rabbi Nadya Gross.

If you would like information on volunteer opportunities, contact Nancy Benyamin at (303) 597.5000.